"St. Augustine Moonlight" BY rona williams

This song is an exploration of the experience of being queer in a small town. It’s the feeling of being a member of a community that you value, yet still having a part of yourself that you need to hide. The song was inspired by a relationship I had in high school, where I dated a girl who was closeted from everybody else around her. While I was out and proud, she held onto this shame about our relationship, as we continued to present ourselves as “good friends.” I like to think that this song reflects the jealousy I had over “normal” relationships, and the different experiences that queer teenagers may face.  

LYRICS

Walk you up to the door

Act like I'm a stranger

As I walk home late at the dawn

And I'm probably far away from the stereotypes

That you always lean towards

Your last guy was a quarter back and I'm in the school's chorus

How could I end up sitting a block away?

On the concrete curb where my house lay

And the grass was wet

From the mist of the night

So I sat in St. Augustine

Moonlight

And your mother knew but she never told your dad

Cause it was just a conversation neither one of them wanted to have

Oh I hate to think

What the town would say

If they ever found out that you were born this way

You had a boyfriend from years ago

And I guess you never had the strength to let him go

But now you're smoking cigarettes

You don't care what your mother says

You might be someone new to her

I thought I was new to you

I thought you were a dream come true

Nothing ever goes exactly like you planned

Your mind gets tired, but the heart doesn't ever understand

How could I end up sitting a block away?

With my head reeling from the words I heard you say

And the grass was wet

From the mist of the night

So I sat in Saint Augustine moonlight

And your mother knew but she never told your dad

So let's just forget everything we had

And I hate to think what the town would say

If they ever found out that I was born this way

Just call it off before it gets too much to handle

I swear this city is an apocalyptic town

And every house on this street is the exact replica of the last

Sitting outside on this cold October night

I see all the people in costume

I can't go inside so I'll just bide my time

And let them all remind me of you